That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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