you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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