Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
