So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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