I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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