I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
