Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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