saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
