Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
