Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
