So drunk its hurt
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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