Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
