she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
