When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
