Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
