You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
