It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
