If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
