He is an equal opportunity slut.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
