I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
