Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
