Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
