My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My life is pants optional.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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