Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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