Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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