and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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