I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need a burrito and a hug.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
