I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
