I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
