I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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