Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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