also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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