no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
