Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
