Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I need to align my fucking chakras
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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