bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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