my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
