i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
