please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
