i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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