You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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