I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
