swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
