So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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