I wish I only lived at night.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
