Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
