they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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