fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
