I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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