You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
